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Thread: Funny Offensive Jokes
11-04-2012, 04:11 PM #1
Offensive Jokes(If you have ever been upset or offended by humor of any kind please do not read any further. This list includes racist jokes, sexist jokes, jokes about paedophilia etc).
Q: What’s the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?
A: Santa Claus goes down the chimney.
Q:What’s the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds?
A: There’s 20 of them.
Q: How do you get an one-armed Irishman down from a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: What do you call a barn filled with black people?
A: Antique farm equipment.
Q: Why don’t they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day in Afghanistan?
A: The camel would get too tired.
Q: Why are trees so close in Harlem?
A: Public transportation.
Q. How is getting your girlfriend pregnant like locking your keys out of your car?
A. The problem is easily solved with a coathanger.
Q Whats the worst thing about a gang rape?
A Being last.
Q: What’s the hardest part of a cabbage to eat?
A: The wheelchair
Q:What’s the worst thing about 4 Muslim guys going off a cliff in an Escalade?
A: Escalade can seat 6
Q: What’s see-through and lies in the gutter?
A: A Pakistani with the shit kicked out of him
Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to hold the bulb and the other to drink til the room spins.
Q: Why do Jewish women like their men circumcised?
A: They always want 20% off something.
Q: How do we know what shampoo princess diana used?
A: Because her head and shoulders was found all over the dash board.
Q: Whats blue and fucks grannys?
Q: What do you call a black woman who has had 9 abortions?
A: A Crime fighter
A man enters a pharmacy and asks for birth control pills for his wife and his seven year-old daughter. The pharmacist is a little shocked and says, “Your seven year-old daughter is sexually active!”
“No,” replies the man. “She just sort of lays there.”
I used to be into sadism, necrophilia and bestiality.
But I gave it up cos I always felt like I was flogging a dead horse.
An Indian man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.
“Yes, how can I help?” asks St Peter.
“I’m here to meet Jesus,” says the Indian man.
St Peter looks over his shoulder and shouts, “Jesus, your cab is here!”
Last edited by rosnec; 11-04-2012 at 04:23 PM.
11-04-2012, 04:14 PM #2
Here's a great one, your life.
11-04-2012, 04:15 PM #3
11-04-2012, 04:15 PM #4
wtf there so bad
11-04-2012, 04:46 PM #5
11-04-2012, 05:01 PM #6
Haha some good ones in there.
Heres a couple I like to tell:
What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
How many Jews can fit in the back of a pickup truck?
10, and 3 million in the ash tray.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
What happens when you stick your hand into a bowl of jellybeans?
The black ones steal your watch.
Your mamas so ghetto she breast feeds kool-aid.
11-04-2012, 05:05 PM #7