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Thread: Rap help

  1. #1
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    Default Rap help

    In my Writing class as a fun activity we were assigned to make a Christmas song.

    Me and my friend ryan (cigi) decided to do a rap and this is what iv come up with so far, i need criticism and what i should do to it (please keep in mind i made this in 20 minutes) I want to add atleast 2 more verses but that will come later.

    so comment below your opinion of what iv got so far

    It was December 24th and Mary had nowhere to stay
    The absence of inns left Joseph to pray
    out of the darkness a manjor soon came
    The poor woman didn't want her baby to be born in the rain

    But then they were visited by three strangers who had some goodies
    These gents where wearing Nike hoodies.
    So she turned her head a second and the men had gone
    But they left their driver's wallet smack dead on the lawn
    Joseph picked up the wallet up then took a pause
    Took out the license and it cold said "Santa Claus"

    As quick as a lepord this story twisted
    we were brought up to the north pole where Santa had insisted
    "Your on the nice list don't mess it up"
    All i said was a simple "whats up"
    Irritable is all i can say for "Mr. Claus"
    but what do you expect from a man that likes to jingle some balls

    *Chorus*
    All i want for Christmas is a ghansta shark
    A year round ticket to the 6 flags park
    If i don't get it im gonna freak
    cuz you know were anything but meek

    All i want for Christmas is a pure bred stork
    A Full paid dinner with mooshoo pork
    If i don't get it, yall better watch out
    cuz you know we know how to pout

    All i want for christmas is that kool aid from walmart
    A Bosster seat and a mini golf kart
    If i don't get it Some stufff bout to happen
    cuz you know our crew always be packin

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    Last edited by tony; 12-11-2012 at 02:29 PM.

  2. #2
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    Love the chorus!

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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by GamerProblems View Post
    Love the chorus!
    thanks, i still need to make a beat for it

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  4. #4
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    Default Rap help

    Quote Originally Posted by tony View Post
    we were brought up to the north pole where Santa had insisted
    "Your on the nice list don't mess it up"
    All i said was a simple "whats up"
    Irritable is all i can say for "Mr. Claus"
    but what do you expect from a man that likes to jingle some balls
    Touched it up. I already had a beat in mind.

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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slave View Post
    Touched it up. I already had a beat in mind.
    lol, thats great but im in a catholic school so that may not roll.

    I originaly had a line that said "smack smack, the power of christ all over your back"


    Btw what type of beat you have in mind im working in fl right now

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  6. #6
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    Default Rap help

    That last line was just for the lulz.

    A simple beat. Headlines by Drake. Might need to add a few words on some parts or speed it up on others .

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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slave View Post
    That last line was just for the lulz.

    A simple beat. Headlines by Drake. Might need to add a few words on some parts or speed it up on others .
    ill look into it, i was hoping to keep the bpm at 95 max

    edit; i looked into it, its a odd fit but ill mess with it and see if it will work

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    Last edited by tony; 11-28-2012 at 01:05 PM.

  8. #8
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    Headlines
    I like it dude, nice job.

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  9. #9
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    im thinking about using drop it like its hot as the beat it fits well


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  10. #10
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    I added more

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