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Thread: Got jumped right now... I won
02-17-2013, 11:33 AM #1
Got jumped right now... I won
So I was out cartwheeling by myself tonight. No big deal right? I just felt like going on out alone and having some good quality "me time".
I do cartwheeling with a couple of bugs on the weekend for fun. It just seemed like a regular night.
Well about 1 second into the night, a beautiful universe supermodel babe (imaginary) comes up to me and asks me if I could teach her how to cartwheel. Nothing too much, but just the regular hand and toe technique that every wheeler knows.
I started talking to her and just getting to know her and being a horny dick, just being a tryhard. We are shouting and screaming when out of nowhere, this crazy mother fucker jumps over the moon and grabs me by my dog collar and says,"Hey you filthy piece of fucking handsome. Stay the fuck away from my sexy women you fucking clit licker." Yes.. A fucking clit licker.
At this point, I'm slightly stunned and confused y a flash bang.
Question 1: Who the fuck is this majestic handsome young charmer?
Question 2: Ummm.. Do I slap him?
Question 3: Did this supermodel set me up?
Anyways, the supermodel cums over and starts handing the dudes brain back to himself on a silver platter. Meanwhile, I'm still stunned and slightly amused.
The dude said he and his "homie bros" were gonna wait for me in the spaceship (they got kicked out of the place) and jump me when I was trying to leave.
Note: Incase you didn't already know, I have a black belt in 5 finger death punch. I have been doing it for 193,394,965 years. Earned my blackbelt last century. If you have a black belt and somebody tries to fight you; by LAW you have to tell them that you're a homosexual sex offender.
I go to take my hands off for a quick break and out of nowhere these ninjas comes up to me and lays one solid punch across my penis. I, at first, just put my hand to my tip and saw blood. The dude started acting all hard laughing with his ninja pals. I turned my head back and whispered two words,"Big mistake."
The next .1 seconds consisted of a few punches, 245 elbows, and 37 kicks 26 teabags, and the fight was over.
If what I read was correct from the text I got from one of the sloots in their party, they ended up with 6,000,000 broken ribs, 557 concussion, and a broken leg , anana, and a tail... I had a bloody tip.
Overall, I won the fight. They all got kicked out permanently, and the ninjas sweet universal supermodel babe spent the rest of her year with me.
(Oops, wrong section)
02-17-2013, 11:37 AM #2
That was just mean
02-17-2013, 11:44 AM #3
02-17-2013, 12:00 PM #4
02-17-2013, 12:07 PM #5
Rising Graphic Artist
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
- ▓░░░░ 1% Attempting to give a fuck...
I love you now.
02-17-2013, 12:10 PM #6
Cool story bro .
02-17-2013, 12:13 PM #7
Meh. Dem ninjas wasn't the right kind of Asian.
02-17-2013, 12:14 PM #8
Real and straight
02-17-2013, 12:29 PM #9
They couldn't handle your cartwheeling bro.
02-17-2013, 01:17 PM #10