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  1. #1
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    Default [Not Done] Rap - Need opinions

    Could you guys tell me how It is so far? Thanks. If It sucks, tell me, if you like it, tell me. If you think something else should go there,tell me.


    Chrous:
    Its all in a lifetime
    This journy gonna be a clime
    But we can make it happen with a little rhyme

    Verse 1:
    FigurinG life out
    Thinkin what it all about
    Even know you wanna shout
    I'm startin to have my doubts
    treat me like a rag-doll
    But we gotta stay strong
    Crawlin to the finish line
    Acting like its all fine.
    You did nothing wrong
    Do I even belong.
    Too this day I am fine.
    From the lyrics Im spittin from my jawline.

    Chrous:
    Its all in a lifetime
    This journy gonna be a clime
    But we can make it happen with a little rhyme

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  2. #2
    Curret n3wbit
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    Default

    Too much rhyme, but with the right beat it could work... If you want to make it a song I could do the beats for you, when it is done of course.

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    "Sense is not made like money, sense is had like heart, pride, and integrity."~Russ

  3. #3
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coexist View Post
    Too much rhyme, but with the right beat it could work... If you want to make it a song I could do the beats for you, when it is done of course.
    That would be great. So cut back on the rhymes?

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  4. #4
    Curret n3wbit
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    Default

    This part:
    Even know you wanna shout
    I'm startin to have my doubts
    treat me like a rag-doll
    But we gotta stay strong

    And this part:
    Crawlin to the finish line
    Acting like its all fine.
    You did nothing wrong
    Do I even belong.
    Too this day I am fine.
    From the lyrics Im spittin from my jawline.


    Should be worded a little differently. It messes up the flow imo.

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  5. #5
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    Default

    Al right I'll work on it. I'll P.m. you if I need help. I would love you to do the beat

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  6. #6
    Curret n3wbit
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xLounge View Post
    Al right I'll work on it. I'll P.m. you if I need help. I would love you to do the beat
    Sounds good.

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  7. #7
    Just say no to drugs hell nah I ain't listen Drugs's Avatar

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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xLounge View Post
    Chrous:
    Its all in a lifetime
    This journy gonna be a clime
    But we can make it happen with a little rhyme

    Verse 1:
    FigurinG life out
    Thinkin what it all about
    Even know you wanna shout
    I'm startin to have my doubts
    treat me like a rag-doll
    But we gotta stay strong
    Crawlin to the finish line
    Acting like its all fine.
    You did nothing wrong
    Do I even belong.
    Too this day I am fine.
    From the lyrics Im spittin from my jawline.

    Chrous:
    Its all in a lifetime
    This journy gonna be a clime
    But we can make it happen with a little rhyme
    My Mix:
    118 bpm
    4&4 Bars

    Chrous:
    Its all in a lifetime,
    Show me how the stars shine,
    Show me how we, can, all, be, free... ("We, can, all, be, free" triplet dotted note pattern)

    Told you not to doubt me,
    You're nothing without me,
    But it's some-thing you gotta see,
    Try living your life without me....

    Verse 1:
    Trying so hard,
    To figure this life out,
    To know-what-we-had-was-special,
    Thinkin this is what it's about

    Everybody wanna shout,
    But nobody will know my name,
    To think I started out with nothing,
    End up with fame-

    But show em who's out tonight,
    Let the world show, who's out tonight,
    Blow out the candle, put out, the light,
    Just to let these haters know they can't stop the fight, we rolling out tonight.

    But we gotta stay strong,
    Crawl to the finish line,
    Can't show my emotions,
    Acting like its all fine.

    This is it,
    This my time,
    Knockout blows
    I'm spittin from my jawline.

    Chorus:

    Just 5 min of editing. I like it though. It's got rythem with the right beat. Could use something though... Just not sure...

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