Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Active Member Wes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    685
    Points
    1,116
         User Info     Contact     Gamer ID
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    685
    Points
    1,116
    Gamer IDs

    PSN ID: xWesleyCL

    Contact info:

    Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/TechyL33T Kik Username: JayyGreen69

    Default saw this on pastebin o.o

    4/23/2001 8:28:27 PM
    COPS is filmed live and on location, with the men and women of law enforcement.
    Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for -
    "You little shit! You don't touch the com unit! No, get back. Get back. Lean back into the seat. Hands stay on the camera and just on the camera. Where'd they hire you from, sport? Hands -- hey, hands on the camera. I don't even want to see any ass scratching. What the hell -- you broke my com unit. We both know who's going to be paying for this. Don't you boys talk? I have no doubt this'll all be edited out later, anyway."
    The lady cop glances aside at the shotgun seat, dark eyes squinting.
    "What d'you mean, obligation to keep up?" she grumbles.
    "Yeah, fine, whatever. I'm Officer Helene Medley of the NYPD, thirty-fourth precinct. Here's... thirteen minutes to midnight, and I'm en route for a called 10-66. Unusual incident. This can vary from some rare form of everyday loitering from seeing a neighbour's houseparty staged right on the roof. I don't expect much to occur out of this other than some ex-gated community member with the binoculars at the window and watching some sweet-sixteen break curfew. And since somehow the com got smashed by some moron's foot, here's hoping nothing happens. Or else we're going to find out if up your asshole's ready for its close-up."
    The car drifts to a halt, followed by the shove-opening of the driver's door. "I know it's Riverdale, scout. Check your wallet, anyway. And watch y'don't kick the -- Christ!"

    "RAAAAARRRRR!"
    *stomp stomp stomp*
    *crunch crunch crunch*
    All in unison now: "Aaiiieee!"
    "Look, Mommy, it's a Sharptooth!" cries one little kid who's watched too much Land Before Time as his frantic mother rushes him away.
    The tyrannosaurus rex brings one massive clawed foot down on a sleek black BMW.
    *CRUNCH*
    Off to the side, a much more battered car--okay, a car that until two seconds ago was much more battered than the BMW--is swerved onto the grass. Leaning against its side in a classic "How much more can the world throw at me?" pose is a slight blond man in a trenchcoat. Unmarked cans are lined up carefully inside the popped-open trunk--along with one empty space. A careful eye might track a possible trajectory from the empty space right over to...where a can lies on the ground, top burst off. A thin greenish fluid trickles slowly out of it, but by now the container is mostly empty. Not far from it is the tyrannosaur. It raises its foot to stomp on the shattered BMW again.
    "RAAAAARRRRR!"

    The cameraboy looks up. And up. And up. And up. His jaw drops, and so does his bowels -- pants are getting a little heavy there. It's the years of militant cameraboy school that keep the camcorder hefted high, right on the gorging and snarling beast. He makes a little peepy noise.
    Medley sighs. "I hate it when they do this. They confuse the 10-66 with the 10-666."
    "No," calls the blond, lifting his head from his hands. "10-666 would be if the 'demon-in-a-can' had been released." He pats one of the other lined-up cans. "This is 10-65,000,000 BC. Unless it starts trying to open a gateway to Hell. Wait...I think there may have been one that was supposed to do that..." He starts peering over the cans in the trunk. He's not panicking. But he's not calm either. He's gone out the other side of panic and calm and landed somewhere else entirely. The tyrannosaur leans forward and down to snap its jaws at random bystanders. The Englishman gives it a pained, weary look as he slumps against the car. "Oh, blast..."

    "YOU!" yells the black clad figure, pointing with leather finger gloves at John Constantine. "Is this your doing?" The man is dressed head to toe in black. Black books, finger gloves, shirt, pants, and leather longcoat. Dark spiked hair is atop his head, gel keeping it in place. "Because people who let freakin' dinosaurs run loose in my neighborhood...Make. Me. FURIOUS!"

    "No need to resort to rashness, there. There seems to be a dinosaur trashing the Ritz of the Bronx, that's all. All can be accomplished in ordered steps of -- will you get that CAMERA angle off my ASS?!" Red doesn't even need to look around to grab a handful of Cameraboy's collar. "Call for help! It -- aw, Christ, there's gonna be a mess." The officer draws her gun, aiming to fire a shot at the creature's flank.

    Constantine looks over at the black-clad figure. Spends a moment staring. Lets his head sink back into his hands. "Jesus *Christ*." He looks up again. "No, I didn't do it. My driver--" He glances back at the car. The driver's seat is empty. "Shit. He ran." Apparently the driver was sensible. "This is the *last* time I ever trust *that* bastard. Just dump 'em in the Hudson and they'll dissolve harmlessly, he said. Well, I have to *get* to the bloody Hudson first!" He twists around to look at Mr. Furious again. "Go be furious at the dinosaur," he suggests hopefully, scrambling in his pockets for his lighter and a cigarette. Meanwhile, Mr. Rex roars in rage as the (relatively speaking) tiny bullet stings into his side. He lashes his tail furiously, knocking a whole line of cars to the side and slamming into a building.

    Mr. Furious IS getting furious at the dinosaur, as it continues its rampage. "Hey! You!" he yells up at the beast, pointing a finger, and trembling with rage. "Well, you're a big boy. Well, when you're this big...no. If they're bigger than you....no, wait." Mr. Furious turns away, paces a few steps, and paces back. "The bigger they are, the harder they fall!" With that as his battlecry, he rushes at the dinosaur.

    The destruction of property makes the woman wince. Finalizing her decision to deny any participation with this to the alibi that she and the cameraman were making it happen in the back seat -- the lady cop turns eyes at the blonde. Gun in one hand, the other lashes the attempt to grab a fistful of his nice trenchcoat. "Dump what in the Hudson? Spill your guts before I do, Ace." Cameraboy races after Mr. Furious, camcorder pointed and on record. Red glances off. "No, no, no, don't do that..! I wasn't born in New York," she proves her sanity to Constantine, in the meanwhile.

    The tyrannosaur roars hugely, stomping one foot down on a shiny Mercedes. Its side still stings! Then it sees anger incarnate rushing at it and pauses, bewildered. What thing so tiny would dare charge something so large? It tilts its giant head to one side, one beady (okay, so it'd be a very *large* bead) eye focused on Mr. Furious, and makes a small, puzzled "hrawr?" noise.
    "Oh, Christ, I *hate* being on--" Constantine cuts off his anti-media tirade as he's grabbed. Oh boy. He's in trouble here. "I don't know. I was just told that I had to, or my family would get it. And I just couldn't let that happen." He's desperate. And when he needs to be he can be a decent actor. "But then my driver swerves and one of the mystery cans flies out of the trunk and wham! Next thing you know, dinosaur loose in the Bronx. I wasn't either," he adds in reply to Medley. Well *duh*.

    Mr. Furious lets out a primal roar of rage, slamming his closed fists against his head. He says it's to psych himself up, but some have theorized the constant hitting of his own head is how he manages to be so brave, due to massive brain damage. He shoulder tackles the dinosaur's leg. The dino doesn't even give an inch. "Okay. Time to bring out the BIG guns, bad boy." Mr. Furious pulls out his trusty crowbar, and tries to kneecap the behemoth.

    Panning from an omniscent view of seeing everything to just from the camera's perspective, it focuses up and up to get close on one of the Cretaceous carnivore's nostrils. Huh huh, look, dino snot. Standing about a foot behind from Mr. Furious' rampaging insane-attack, Cameraboy tries to get a good shot of the pulsing vein jutting from the pissed-off guy's brow. "Hey, hey!" Medley drops Constantine, gun positioned as she gallantly strafes forward for the psycho's rescue. "Christ, didn't your mother warn you against throwing the first against something that shits larger than you are? Get the hell back!"

    Constantine nearly gasps with relief as he's released. But he's not about to keel over and faint right away. Nope. He has a city to save. He begins sorting through the ominous rows of cans. Here's hoping none of them are set off by smoke.
    The tyrannosaur blinks bemusedly at this tenacious little defender. Then it tenses, leans forward to snatch him up like the snack-sized morsel he is--and gets bopped. It rears back and roars in anguish. Apparently, the most famous predator of all the dinosaurs is a total wuss when it comes to pain.

    Mr. Furious points up at the T-rex as it cries in pain, his face red with rage. "That's right you overgrown iguana! The carnival of pain is in town, and I'm head of the three ring circus." He goes for another swing, but stops at Red. "Listen, lady, superhero here, trying to save the city. So if you don't BACK OFF!, and make it pronto, I might have to unleash my hurricane of righteous wrath."

    That's it. She's getting a transfer. Somewhere quiet. Tranquil. Tuktoyaktuk? "Unless you'd like your O-ring to take a swing for something lookin' more Z, you're not going to talk to an officer of the law like that." The redhead reaches the attempt to get a handful of the berseker's collar to yank him back. One eyebrow inclined, she looks up and up and up at the thing. Where's Sam Neill when you need him. Especially in bed.

    Constantine rummages frantically through the rows of monsters-in-a-can lined up in the car trunk, trying not to look panicked. It would ruin his image. Meanwhile, the tyrannosaur has taken advantage of the lull to realize that despite the pain, it actually didn't get hurt badly at all. (Hey, it takes a while for complex thoughts like that to seep into a brain the size of a walnut.) It roars again, then lunges forward in an attempt to snap up the terrified Cameraboy.

    Mr. Furious turns his head slowly to face Red, dropping his crowbar, and trembling. His face reaches a darker shade of crimson, and that vein on his forehead looks like he's going to blow. Eyes dart to his collar. "Let go of me. He-ra, or I'll knock you down so fast, it will make your days at the academy seem like.....Sunday school!"

    Cameraboy is pretty much too stupid to be afraid. "Yo, hey yo, man! Gotta stay still, chill there, I can't focus on yer--" Little hangy thing in the back of the throat. "AHHHH!" Red just rolls her dark eyes, trying to halve attentions between this man and the blonde. The thunder lizard is just going to have to wait. "Oh, you will, will you, scout. I'll have you cuffed for obstructing justice faster than your mother sneaks the milkman out the window. Got it, and--" Screams distract her. "Christ! Look what you've done! My camera-- he owes me money! I'M NOT GONNA PAY FOR THE BROKEN UNIT!"

    "RAAAAARRRRR!" The tyrannosaur holds Cameraboy neatly between the knives that pass for its teeth and shakes him like a dishrag. It raises a foot and attempts to stomp on one of those big fat Honda Odyssey minivans, crushes it halfway, then brings its tail around to smack into the thing. The half-crushed car flips over, landing on the tyrannosaur's other foot. "RAAAAARRRRR!" No, it's not that smart, why do you ask?
    "Got it! I think." The blond lifts another can out of the trunk. Unlike most of the others, including the empty one near the dinosaur, it has a label. The label reads, in bright red letters, "DANGER!" Constantine studies it for a moment, then tosses it lightly onto the ground. It's time to fight fire with fire. The lid pops off on contact, and a thin green liquid starts to seep out, sizzling and steaming as it comes into contact with the air.

    Mr. Furious ignores the dinosaur, the blonde guy, and the unfortunate redshirt who operated the camera. He leans closer towards Red, angry enough to almost drool. "You try and slap those cuffs on me broadzilla, and I'll rock your tidy little world like...like a hurricane hitting a trailer park!"

    Red just rolls her eyes. She retrieves a clanging pair of iron handcuffs from her belt, attempting to expertly snatch-and-pin one of the man's wrists. "Most trailer parks don't collaborate on the coasts, junior. You're looking for a tornado."

    The liquid coalesces, hissing and steaming, swirling together in a pool of deeply worrying green. As the sizzling grows loud enough to be heard even over the fury of the T-Rex, there is a flare of light and an oddly soft explosive sound. The light fades to reveal Constantine's latest bright idea. It's huge, easily matching the height of the tyrannosaur. It's blond. It's wearing safari gear and - "Crikey! Just look at the size of his TEETH!" - it's Australian. God help you all. The newcomer's expression lights up at the sight of the dinosaur and he starts taking massive, careless strides towards it. "Here boy! Look at this BEEYOOtiful example of a carnivore takin' his ease!"

    Constantine gives the Steve-In-A-Can (or rather, out of it now) a brief expression of horrified fascination. Then he's moving fast. "Come on, help me here, we haven't got much time!" he yells at Medley and Mr. Furious. He reaches deep into the car's trunk. Cigarette ash falls on one of the other cans, which shakes a little, and for a tense, terrible moment it looks like the scene might gain an additional member. A gigantic Pikachu, maybe. Then the can settles down again, and John emerges with a small package in his hands. He starts to unwrap it. It seems to be made of some kind of mesh-like material, and apparently it's folded up very tightly.

    Mr. Furious looks over in vast surprise at the new creature, just in time to feel the metal closing over his wrist. He looks back to Red, eyes narrowing. "Oh, you're funny girl. You're a funny funny girl. Well, you better just hope that, that your park isn't on a coast, or this tidal wave of destruction is going to flatten you like...flatten you like a...spatula!"

    Red rolls her eyes a second time. Please. Threats do nothing to her. C'mon, big boys of Brooklyn, come up and scream the curses and swears of a barking degenerate society right in her face. Scream so loud she'll taste the air. She might take you off by the knee, but her pulse will be under 70. She's the golden girl of blood pressure. Nothing fazes her. Nothing frightens her. Whether its eye-to-eye down the barrel of a shotgun or the bosom of a mother-in-law, Red yawns in the face of danger. Unimpressed dark eyes turn at the newest voice, looking up at a really big Steve. She shrugs. She doubletakes. She.. runs off screaming.

    The dinosaur takes one look at Steve, drops whatever's left of Cameraboy, and goes "RAAAAARRRRR!" But it's a frightened rarr. This creature is coming right at it! No one does that! It's a tyrannosaurus rex! It sways a little, uncertainly.

    Steve is highly excited. "Nobody's gonna hurt ya!" he booms cheerfully at the tyrannosaur, and if it doesn't actually stop him he's going to dodge quickly around to one side of the T-Rex and make a grab for it, to ensnare it in an extremely foolish headlock. "Now he won't like it when I do this! Look how cross he's getting!"

    Constantine rolls his eyes at Medley. "I thought city people were s'posed to be unfazeable," he complains. "Or maybe that only works for English people." Well yeah, but there are limits to even English unflappability, and certainly to general city unflappability. Meanwhile, he continues unfolding the...whatever that meshy thing is. "Somebody get over here and help me with this!"
    The tyrannosaur is so confused. One moment it's king of the city, or would've been soon. Next...*this* guy shows up. "Raaarrr?!" it demands in angry confusion as it's put into a headlock. It attempts to lash its tail at Steve.

    Mr. Furious nods in satisfaction as the cop runs in terror of his cauldron of rage, then shakes his cuffed fist high, then points at her. "Yeah, you better run, She-man, or I'll.." Oh, no one is listening, don't stress yourself by trying to think of something witty. He turns to deal with the dinosaur, and just stares. My, that giant Aussie has nice legs, all muscular and...gah. Mr. Furious shakes his head, and smacks himself a few times to reclaim his anger. "Okay, you Jeff Goldblum movie reject, and you! you....Crocodile Dundeed....wannabe, I'm..." He's starting to forget who he's supposed to be fighting here.

    "He's getting a bit angry with me now! Check the leverage on that tail!" crows Steve as he's almost knocked off his feet, clinging to the dinosaur with all the strength he possesses. "Good boy! I'll be goin' home bruised tomorrow!" Huge, happy eyes spare Furious the merest glance. "Watch out, mate! He's touchy!"

    The tyrannosaur roars again, but there's a definite pathetic note to the sound now. Medley it can deal with, Mr. Furious it can deal with, other dinosaurs it could have dealt with...but Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter? It makes another token effort to shrug him off.
    Constantine would be snickering at Mr. Furious, really--here's someone too pathetic to even be one of the spandex freaks--but he's a little preoccupied. He finally finishes unfolding the mesh. It's nearly draping him, a veritable spider's web. He snaps something together within the depths of it. The webbing billows out, leaving the Englishman holding the handle of...a gigantic net. "Christ! This *can't* be serious!" He looks close to despair.

    "Well," Roy says to the giant crocodile hunter, backing away slowly, and tripping nearly over every piece of debris in his path. "I can see that you have things under control. And I'm always needed elsewhere in this city..." He keeps backing up, straight into John and that net thing.

    "No worries!" is Steve's cheery reply to Roy, as the tyrannosaur makes renewed efforts to shake him off. He clings on and attempts to wrestle it to the ground in order to prise its mouth open and get a good look.

    Those are amazing teeth, you know. Just like knives, only made of bone. Blood adorns them. The tyrannosaur flails helplessly at Steve with its weak little forearms. Meanwhile, Constantine yelps as he's backed into. "Shit! I'm trying to save the city here!" He nearly loses control of the net; it waves wildly, then lands on the car with all the other cans in it. There's a quiet >*pop*< and then in place of the car is a small can labeled "CAR." Constantine just looks at it. "Bloody hell."

    Mr. Furious glances down at the net, the car-in-a-can, and the flaming imbecile responsible for it all. That makes him furious. He jabs a finger at John's face, starting to tremble again. "Listen here goldilocks. You get those two rampaging...no, those destructive...DICKHEADS, back where they belong, or I'll make the Battle of the Bulge look like...like a family picnic! Got that!?"

    The T-Rex's flailing is having little impression on the giant Steve. "Look at that!" he enthuses to anyone dumb enough to still be hanging around here. "They're ENORMOUS!"

    Constantine was *trying* to get rid of those cans. That was the only reason he *had* them in the trunk of a car being driven through New York City. He glares at Mr. Furious. *Goldilocks*? But he lets it go. He has other things to do. "What do you think I'm *trying* to do?" He hefts the net again and swipes it at Steve and the tyrannosaur. Who is still flailing frantically, looking more frightened each second, snapping its massive jaws.

    Mr. Furious is still getting in John's face, ignoring the real threat for the guy who is trying to help. But that's part of the price of being a ticking timebomb of rage. "I don't know what you're TRYING to do. But what you are doing is PISSING ME OFF!"

    Steve draws his head back, leaning out of range as jaws snap shut a whisker away from his nose. He thinks it's fantastic. A sideways glance falls on the squabbling humans and the Australian bellows. "Come on, mates, give him a bit of a tickle! See what he does! He's only playin' with me!" The net misses, probably thanks to Furious.

    Constantine casts a glance at the dinosaur as it continues to wave its puny arms around frantically and thwap its tail all about. He's starting to wonder if he someone slipped him some acid. And when John Constantine starts to wonder if he's tripping, then you *know* the situation has gone beyond merely weird and insane into realms that there are no words for. He takes a deep breath and kicks one booted foot firmly and vehemently toward Mr. Furious, in the direction of that very sensitive area of the body that all cheap fighters must go for. Yes, he knows he'll be in trouble for that, later. But it's all he can think of at the moment. Then he makes another attempt to net the two giants.

    Mr. Furious's eyes widen, his breath exhales slowly, and he collapses in the fetal position, rocking slowly. "Rage....fading. Pain...rising...prospect of Roy junior...gone..."

    Still happily oblivious to the T-Rex's genuine desire to kill him horribly, Steve leans forward to try and get a better look at its teeth. And an instant before the jaws would have snapped shut around his head, Constantine manages to snare the pair of them in the net.

    >*fwoop*<
    >*pop*<
    A can rattles quietly on the ground where before there was a scene of utter terror. Constantine sprints over to it, snatching up the can labeled "CAR" on the way, and picks it up. It also has a label. This one reads, "THE END OF SANITY." He looks at it. He looks at the crumpled Mr. Furious.
    He runs like hell.

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  2. #2
    Just say no to drugs hell nah I ain't listen Drugs's Avatar

    Badge

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    /r/Pokmon
    Posts
    3,565
    Points
    2,721
         User Info     Contact     Gamer ID
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    /r/Pokmon
    Posts
    3,565
    Points
    2,721
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Spin Master PSN ID: xTiPToN_- Steam ID: xTipton

    Contact info:

    Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/users/xTiPToN

    Default

    Tl;dr

    Fucking gay.

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    Not a drug addict.

    | Wiki | Site Problems | Soundcloud | MTV Artist Page |

    PM @Tony for free Netflix Accounts

  3. #3
    Suicidal Thoughts
    Atmosphere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    3,666
    Points
    2,315
         User Info     Contact     Gamer ID
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    3,666
    Points
    2,315
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: xINSTANT CRUSHx Steam ID: xatmospherex

    Default

    ain't nobody got time for that.

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  4. #4
    Elite Slowduck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    All the places
    Posts
    10,204
    Points
    9,472
         User Info     Contact     Gamer ID
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    All the places
    Posts
    10,204
    Points
    9,472

    Default

    sure

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!


  5. #5
    SonOfMars
    FeelingSpacey - NA
    vBlvckOuT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    San Antonio, TX
    Posts
    956
    Points
    674
         User Info     Contact     Gamer ID
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    San Antonio, TX
    Posts
    956
    Points
    674
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: BlackOut XVII PSN ID: vBlvckOuT

    Default

    Aghhh I don't wanna read that much

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    List Of Phones I've Had

    Nokia 6100 - Motorola V176 - Motorola RAZR V3 - LG Spyder - Motorola ROKR W5 - Pantech Link - Pantech Impact - BlackBerry Bold 9700 - Samsung Galaxy S2 - HTC Inspire 4G - iPhone 3G - Samsung Galaxy S4 Active - Samsung Galaxy Note 3 - LG G3 - iPhone 5 - iPhone 6

  6. #6
    Curret n3wbit
    Russ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    3,193
    Points
    3,398
         User Info     Contact     Gamer ID
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    3,193
    Points
    3,398
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: SSRunts PSN ID: DCCoexist Steam ID: dcrunts

    Default

    Quite an interesting story actually.

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

    "Sense is not made like money, sense is had like heart, pride, and integrity."~Russ

  7. #7
    Android King mattking45's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Tripping
    Posts
    1,198
    Points
    1,798
         User Info     Contact     Gamer ID
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Tripping
    Posts
    1,198
    Points
    1,798
    Gamer IDs

    PSN ID: mguy82 Steam ID: mattking45

    Default

    I read the first 2 paragraphs and it got boring and now I'm sleepy

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    Awesome signature made by Seal Ricky

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -10. The time now is 09:42 PM.
Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.