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  1. #1
    A Real Nigga
    Dr. Sniff Smellington
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    Default today i fucked up

    k this is gonna be kinda long but whatever, i think it's worth the read if you want to hear about how retarded i am. so in the past 24 hours i have

    a) got caught hammered drunk, passed out at my house with one of my friends by my dad
    b) went to a movie with a qt3.14 grill and majorly fukt it up

    the story of my night last night, in greentext format:

    >be me 18
    >parents leave me alone for thanksgiving
    >not going to be home till 8 at night
    >decide to drank some capn morgan around 4 with my other loser friend
    >get absolutely hammered and pass out talking to my dog
    >wake up to my dad shaking me asking what im on
    >mfw i get no punishment
    >mfw my dad says he wants to have a few beers with me
    >mfw my mom wont even talk to me about it but my dad thinks it's hilarious


    tbh didnt even fuck up that bad, my mom took away my netflix for a week though, sadly.

    the story of how i fucked up this night:

    >be me 18 straight fag
    >been texting qt3.14 grill for the past week
    >snapchats me pics of her in sportsbra, basically nudes
    >gonnagetitin.jpeg
    >decide to go see mockingjay with her
    >get to theater, she looks really dressed up
    >in line to buy tix, getting out some quarters cuz change
    >trusty condom FLIES out of wallet onto ground in between us
    >she sees condom
    >we lock eyes
    >she looks away and acts weird for the rest of the night
    >abortmission.gif
    >awkward smalltalk for the rest of the night
    >tossed condom in the trash as we were walking out
    >barely even walked her to her car
    >mfw i have to sit next to her in two of my classes


    anyone else fuck up lately

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    smeller


  2. #2
    Penish
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    Default

    honestly I would be more surprised if the date actually went well

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  3. #3
    A Real Nigga
    Dr. Sniff Smellington
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Box View Post
    honestly I would be more surprised if the date actually went well
    u right

    believe me im so beta she basically asked me to the movie

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    Last edited by smeller; 11-28-2014 at 06:54 PM.
    smeller


  4. #4
    Moderator chewtoys's Avatar
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    Default

    Tell that bitch you like to play it safe, regardless of what happens. Safety #1, then stress about how she got offended about you trying to be safe and look out for both of you if things were to head that route, and that in no way were you expecting to bang that pussy. Say you wanted a nice night out with a qt, and hold off on sexy time with anyone unless a couple dates have been done at least.


    Should get her apologizing and another date set up.


    If not and want to destroy her, just blunt tell her you would never date anyone who didn't take safe sex seriously, and that you're pretty upset she'd think you'd want to crotch cuddle on the first night. Call her a stuck up bitch, and turn your desk away from her a bit and ignore her.

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  5. #5
    A Real Nigga
    Dr. Sniff Smellington
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Digger View Post
    Tell that bitch you like to play it safe, regardless of what happens. Safety #1, then stress about how she got offended about you trying to be safe and look out for both of you if things were to head that route, and that in no way were you expecting to bang that pussy. Say you wanted a nice night out with a qt, and hold off on sexy time with anyone unless a couple dates have been done at least.


    Should get her apologizing and another date set up.


    If not and want to destroy her, just blunt tell her you would never date anyone who didn't take safe sex seriously, and that you're pretty upset she'd think you'd want to crotch cuddle on the first night. Call her a stuck up bitch, and turn your desk away from her a bit and ignore her.
    im kinda hoping that we never speak of this again and just move on with our lives as if we had never been talking

    a friend of mine had it way worse. him and this girl were talking, told each other they had some pretty strong feelings for each other, went on a couple dates but she would always avoid him at social stuff and they were basically afraid to talk to each other so it just ended and they pretend it never happened and their friendship is normal again now.

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  6. #6
    Bad Company
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    Default

    should've said "sorry about that, no need for a condom though cause this flag aint flyin' tonight"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Iced View Post
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    He may not have a soul but he still has a brain. Unlike Russ who has neither.

  7. #7
    A Real Nigga
    Dr. Sniff Smellington
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    hindsight is 20/20

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    smeller


  8. #8
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    Default

    Be a champ and give her the trusty old right hook, then power walk out of the classroom.

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  9. #9
    A Real Nigga
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    apparently it's all good or something guys cuz she just texted me

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  10. #10
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